At a certain point we all have to grow up. That sounds like a basic idea right? It could be all encompassing or it could be about the car your driving, your living in a pod and your 40 years old, or your a dude in your 30’s still living with your Mom and your late and or do not pay child support to your child and you have no idea where he,she is, yea…
My ‘growing up’ is perhaps one that many of you can relate with. As a young girl you dream of high school being a dream, being a college grad, having your choice of careers. A handsome man that will swoop in with his white horse, ask for your hand (oh but wait he needs to ask for your fathers permission first) then he asks in some unique romantic way and you say I do. Then it’s the ceremony you dreamed of your whole life (never mind what it will cost, money…what’s that?!). Then when the time is right you have a beautiful child, then another and possibly another. Never in this fantasy is there anything broken, if you came from a broken home you’re going to stop the cycle.
Then you wake up and you never finished college, you’ve never been in a career that you’ve loved and you cannot remember the last time you met a guy who actually seemed like a human being. They all just seem to be after one thing and a future with you isn’t it. Then you rub your eyes and you just lost 10 years sleeping around (no regrets, some great stories came out of the dark years), you get out of bed, walk to the bathroom and wash your face, look in the mirror and behind you is an amazing man, a new chapter, a guy your ready for because after all the crap you’ve waded through your happy with yourself. When you dry off your face, your afraid you imagined him because for all his sorrows and broken memories, he’s so wonderful, you look up and he’s still there. He embraces you as you’ve never been held, you feel safe and yet independent and supported. You quit that crappy desk job and started your own business and he loves and supports you.
Then he sweetly whispers in your ear, “I adore you, I appreciate you, I enjoy you, I love you…but I do not believe in marriage….I think it’s a piece of paper”. Yea….it hasn’t been a year yet but this is real, more real that any before because this time you love you and your just you and then he sees all the things you’ve been waiting someone would see but now you’ve got a choice, kiss those ideals, those silly dreams you dreamt as you twirled those blonde locks? Is this you growing up? You had your first job at 14, moved out on your own when you were 17, could not do the college bit because unlike your friends you had to pay rent and Mom and Dad left to travel. I grew up a long time ago but now in my mid 30’s I have seen and done so much, perhaps its time I ‘put away childish things’, notions that now seem foolish and who says my knight has to be on a while horse, he wears carhartts and looks damn good in em’ 🙂 Shouldn’t being happy and content be enough? Or are we all poisoned by these ideals to think that this is what you have to have when you grow up.
-B
