I have several reoccurring dreams, dream components mostly. Like the house I grew up in, that beautiful living room usually. Such care went into each book placement, she splurged on the furniture, it had to be Victorian. The stenciled trail along the ceiling molding, albeit no longer in style (was it ever?).
She loved it, I think it was in every room.
Stairs, scary stairs. I can’t seem to climb and it’s always down. Even before my traumatic experience on a trip to Thailand where I cried as I climbed down a part of Angkor Wat.
Other dreams may be easily blamed on movies but this one is still jarring: Pulling the tube slowly and yet forcefully as though I’ve been unplugged and awoken has proven to be difficult, like being institutionalized (this was what I scribbled on my notepad at some point in the night).
All of my life I’ve felt different. That house was/is always a safe place, an anchor. When it’s in dreams I wake almost excited, that I was able to walk those halls again.
The stairs, sometimes a Ferris wheel where I have to navigate stepping down on each moving seat on the wheel. One after another, struggling to steady myself, forever climbing down but why down?
The tube dream though, I could blame The Matrix or an irrational fear of such an ordeal. The lack of control, but obsession with removing an alien object from my body. Is this a prediction? I have had other dreams come true..never the ones I want though, so far.
As I sleep to dream of more old house than stairs and tube dreams, I remain open because as a poet and a hopeful romantic I believe all the dreams mean something rather than nothing..
~ B
