childhood trauma, dreams, loss, love, trauma

In Dreams: The Eye Of The Storm

In yet another installment of crazy dreams and demonic behavior, I give you the latest in screwed-up nightmares. The eye of the storm is, not actually the most tumultuous part of a storm, the eye is a region of mostly calm weather at the center of a tropical cyclone, and the eyewall is actually the… Continue reading In Dreams: The Eye Of The Storm

abuse, alcohol, Blogger, childhood trauma, dreams, loss, love, romance, trauma

Here Kitty Kitty

Have I told you about the kitties in my dreams? They appear almost as much as he does. A therapist once told me these creatures represent me and that has both made sense and not over the years. In most cases I am taking care of them, stressed about them...there are almost always two, sometimes… Continue reading Here Kitty Kitty

Blogger, cheating, childhood trauma, dating, dreams, loss, love, moving on, romance, trauma

and the reason is…

I don't sleep in our past like I used to, and when I would see you so often your words would become echoes in my dreams, a voice seemingly designed to madden, no longer love but a broken record of torment. Playing the same questions over and over again and a song forming as I… Continue reading and the reason is…

abuse, Blogger, childhood trauma, dreams, family, friendships, loss, love, moving on, teen years, trauma

The Little Girls

This concept and or idea of there being many parts to us, that we have past versions of ourselves running around inside our hearts, mind, and souls; for me the little girls of my past, little Becky's that were not honored or seen. The idea of playing as an adult is a bit foreign to… Continue reading The Little Girls

abuse, Blogger, cheating, childhood trauma, city living, dreams, faith, trauma

I Am a Rock

When I was a youngin my mother would say this, or at least that is the way I remember it....that and the main verse playing in my head: "I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no painAnd an island never cries" - Simon & Garfunkel As an adult trying like… Continue reading I Am a Rock

abuse, Blogger, childhood trauma, dreams, faith, family, loss, love, Uncategorized, washington state

rêves les plus fous

As sleep, naps and rest elude me I search for ways to rest myself, ways to release the demons, memories of us, memories of her, worries, sorrows, they all create a wall of sorts for me on a daily basis, if I can get through the wall I can be at peace but they join… Continue reading rêves les plus fous

body issues, cheating, dating, dreams, faith, loss, love, moving on, romance, trauma, Uncategorized

Loving You Had Consequences

I loved you differently. Don't want you back you're just the best I ever had. My spirit is bruised but my tenacity could never be shaken by your betrayals. They say you never lose by loving, I know I've lost something but the fact that I do not know what's missing tells me I am… Continue reading Loving You Had Consequences