I have several reoccurring dreams, dream components mostly. Like the house I grew up in, that beautiful living room usually. Such care went into each book placement, she splurged on the furniture, it had to be Victorian. The stenciled trail along the ceiling molding, albeit no longer in style (was it ever?). She loved it,… Continue reading In Dreams or Nightmares
Category: childhood trauma
He’s Ain’t No John Wayne
My father is an 80-year-old Oklahoma-born, Vietnam vet, a retired police officer, and very much a man of his generation. So of course he wanted to be a John Wayne type. If you are not familiar with JW let me give you a few examples - from the movie Hondo (this is totally how he… Continue reading He’s Ain’t No John Wayne
Go Ask Alice
Not that Alice, but if you could ask Alice anything what would you ask? This Alice though, she's the one I can't get over: "I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones" - Alice Kingsley When I reflect on my mild obsession with the Alice movies I can remember being very young, sick with something… Continue reading Go Ask Alice
Hello Goodbye Girl
Goodbyes, farewells, run baby run, abandoning and sometimes leaving behind a beautiful wreckage, ships after a storm, my disorganized storm. I've abandoned ideas, pursuits, people, and things - so many things but mostly ideas. Ideas about what it looks like to be, anything. My reality is still me playing alone in my room as a… Continue reading Hello Goodbye Girl
In Dreams: The Eye Of The Storm
In yet another installment of crazy dreams and demonic behavior, I give you the latest in screwed-up nightmares. The eye of the storm is, not actually the most tumultuous part of a storm, the eye is a region of mostly calm weather at the center of a tropical cyclone, and the eyewall is actually the… Continue reading In Dreams: The Eye Of The Storm
Here Kitty Kitty
Have I told you about the kitties in my dreams? They appear almost as much as he does. A therapist once told me these creatures represent me and that has both made sense and not over the years. In most cases I am taking care of them, stressed about them...there are almost always two, sometimes… Continue reading Here Kitty Kitty
Let Greek Ghosts Go
On the Greek side Mom always told me there was nothing there at the graveyard, nothing worth finding anyway. When I found them and put the rose bush with the branches I had found, seemingly especially for them and myself - the exact number of tiny roses as her siblings, except one was bloomed and… Continue reading Let Greek Ghosts Go
Dirty Diana
I think of her so often, almost weekly I would say. We spent so much time in the present in our youth but we also escaped together into our futures. She's so much a part of my past, not really my recent past but a past version of myself. Not a part of my future… Continue reading Dirty Diana
and the reason is…
I don't sleep in our past like I used to, and when I would see you so often your words would become echoes in my dreams, a voice seemingly designed to madden, no longer love but a broken record of torment. Playing the same questions over and over again and a song forming as I… Continue reading and the reason is…
In Dreams
I have always had vivid dreams. Typically the main themes are: me saving someone or something (many times it is my niece in some shape or form, or a kitty - lots of kitties and strangers) a lot of the time the house I grew up in is a theme, it may not look like… Continue reading In Dreams