Rows and flows of angel hair.
The absence of you is sometimes more than I can bear.
Most days I function on a normal level but those moments when you creep in and I can feel your hand on my arm, smell lavender, hear your laugh and your voice and see….you walking, sleeping, making plans, making light, being the light. God so many of these moments plague me and yet I feel so blessed with who remains, who has survived my storm, let me push them and then pull me in; small family connections lay dormant…my siblings grow older, still ten years apart from me…they grow older and yet we stay the same, strangers who know each other well. They say death brings out the best but sometimes the worst in people, I am seeing all sides.
“I’ve looked at life from both sides now
From win and lose and still somehow
It’s life’s illusions I recall
I really don’t know life at all” -Joni Mitchel
I’ve weeded out the friends in low places, some I still replant in my heart but mostly I have no regrets. The world has been kind to me, more so than I have to it in some senses but I walk in light more than the dark. ‘I believe that you are a light that she has left behind, let it shine my friend’.
“This little light of mine, I’m going to let it shine, let it shine, let it shine, let it shine”
-B
