Is it possible to begin a relationship without having to bring up previous ones? Previous fails, successes, infidelities, lies, abuse, sadness….I could go on but what is the use, I am hoping you get the point.
If some relationships define another what does it mean if we do not wish to have our past defined? I mean we all have one, we have all dated that jerk, had our hearts broken, or at least thought we did, ideals shattered, la la la, it’s life but what does it mean when you are with someone who brings all this to the surface and defines you by it, cannot let it go and or feels that your past is in fact a indicator of where you will be in your future. Jeez, someone shoot me if I have to go through my 20’s again or ever part of my 30’s. I walked away from so many people, places and things, it’s exhausting to try to remember let alone rationalize some memories, occurrences and or choices.
I’ll admit I have dug a bit into someones past but as you get older and realize that life is really too short to worry about things so much, well I may have a feeling and or intuition but I rarely dig anymore. Lies stink and typically they come to the service at some point. All that being said, is it wrong for a new lover and or long term one to focus on your past? Should we all be judged by our past, how much of it are we actually suppose to be able to retain and remember for the soul purpose but to convey to another human being that ‘yes, i made this mistake and or did this and i wish i hadn’t and here’s why’. That just sounds exhausting, especially on a long term basis and I already have a full time job! I leave these questions with you, my small amount of readers. I personally have a proud nature and do not feel, in my heart of hearts, that I should have to atone for anything crappy I said or did, I have apologized and or asked for forgiveness. But still I sit here on a plate of shame letting him pick and prod, and not because he is cruel, because he too has a past but still…my heart aches for the clean slate I thought I had.
-B
