11/27 – Circa 2005
Weathering diversity, as I always have. Breaking down…no letting go and deciding to let him be mad and just do it for her.
Another holiday alone, though I will never forget last years New Years, going to bed before midnight and feeling so low suicidal thoughts creeped. When does my epic battle stop, when did it start?
Seattle’s air is so cold it almost chills my cheery disposition. So cold and yet the sun is shining and the blueness of the sky mirrors Lake Washington and all the gulls floating on the breeze that causes my nose to drip.
Holidays are always sad when your single I think. Monica planned the rejuvenation of Scott and her perfectly. We joke that she cannot commit, to many cookies in the cookie jar, can I? The last boy was so nice and yet I felt nothing. Brian from Georgia lingers and of course so does Matt.
Now the car is coming back to me, along with more bills. Having the two jobs proves to be a challenge but the pay checks reaffirm my ultimate goal…financial freedom. Or at least a small cushion I can put a few coins into for traveling and such. My blue eyes bask in the cold sun and people seem to be starring at me waiting here for my parents, is it because I am sitting alone or is it because I am smiling and they are wondering why.
“All the promises we’ve made. From the cradle to the grave. When all I wanted was you. ~ U2
