My life is so chaotic, with all the dog sitting, relationship turmoil, death…and taxes (movie reference, get it?) it’s a wonder the dogs even like me. There is the occasional dog who sleeps away from me, lays away from me, watches me and I wonder if they sense my unrest, my complete abandon for certain ideals, the deep sadness from losing my Mother and even the shift in my heart from doing what I thought I loved to going back to what I thought I loathed…working deeply in-bedded in corporate America, the desk job bit, the ‘kiss the sky goodbye’ (yes I recognize my dramatic plight) deep in the heart of what used to be my first love, Seattle.
Walking around Seattle now is so different, my father is a retired Seattle worker and of course has his own rendition and all I have is the last 10 years to look back on but it feels more like NY than lovely Seattle. More selfish, self-entitled and more sad people wandering around than happy ones. People glued to their phones, making no human connection, rogue bicyclists, construction, demo after demo and yet there’s a light, Mary’s Place is now being fostered by Amazon and that is a HUGE step but the homelessness, prostitution and drug abuse and dare I mention gun violence, continue to become more and more of a way of life. Picking a side, picking a fight, picking a battle…it could be depression but my heart is so overwhelmed with which one to get behind. All are so worthy.
Taking a job in the city again may be the kiss of death for me “The world is a nice place and worth fighting for; I believe in the second part” -Seven (Morgan Freeman). I may be a woman who struggles with ideals but I do hold some close. I WILL say hello to strangers while working in the pit of despair and I WILL try to spread joy and disregard for trivial things, this is my mission.
-B
