May 3rd, 2001
Perhaps my hatred for her comes out of fear. Fear that she could take away my greatest asset, or maybe that fear I have never spoken of, the one where I often catch a glimpse of my own weakness in her smile.
I wish right now that I could get up and play a symphony. I need to let some emotions out. Last night I was embraced by my autumn friend and fr some reason I could not let go. My body aches for someone to hold me, but I refuse to settle. No boys will I let in until my heart is healed. Not even the cowboy who screams sweet nothings.
Usually the quiet drives me crazy but sitting in this room I feel complete. Away from love I re-gain all of my hope and now dangling from my mirror is faith. I hope I don’t have to work today, I want to pack for my journey. I’ll be going alone and I know I’ll sit on my lonely porch reading often trying to pass the time with….
-B
