True or False.. All's Fair in Love & War?
I used to bathe in being blissfully unaware. I met you and it was like 8 years of squinting at the light but also sitting in the dark, so untrue of so many truths I used to cling to. Becks in bed looks so different now, she seemingly does not exist, still celibate and I… Continue reading Becks In Bed
Have I told you about the kitties in my dreams? They appear almost as much as he does. A therapist once told me these creatures represent me and that has both made sense and not over the years. In most cases I am taking care of them, stressed about them...there are almost always two, sometimes… Continue reading Here Kitty Kitty
I don't sleep in our past like I used to, and when I would see you so often your words would become echoes in my dreams, a voice seemingly designed to madden, no longer love but a broken record of torment. Playing the same questions over and over again and a song forming as I… Continue reading and the reason is…
This a vintage post...February 7th, 2008 Dating is hard enough without bringing the past into a new relationship. In my last serious relationship (and please keep in mind I too ask myself ‘What the hell were you thinking’ as I am sure some of you may after reading this) there were late-night visits from women,… Continue reading The Ex-Factor
So many scribbles, notes, and pieces of me laying around waiting to be put down here. My fingers stay shriveled from all the showers - "I'm not going to tell the story the way it happened, I am going to tell it the way I remember it". Scribbles, remember those? A few minutes of focus,… Continue reading great expectations
"I always wanted to love Eve as Denny loved her, but I never had because I was afraid. She was my rain. She was my unpredictable element. She was my fear. But a racer should not be afraid of rain; a racer should embrace the rain. I alone could manifest a change in that which… Continue reading he was my rain
Both are under scrutiny. The stench of lies and ego fog any love cloud from forming in such conditions. Starring at countless ceilings, so many blind spots both spiritually, sexually, and emotionally. There was no surrendering, not anymore. I feel crazy thinking of your words and you so freely throw punches as if you think… Continue reading The Heart Break Special
1/1/2016... In the light of day the room seemed completely different but the stench of that fight lingered. It's been almost six months with Kyle; So like and yet so unalike each other, by far the most transparent relationship I've ever had. Here in Panama the winds wail and I cry for the past and… Continue reading Birthday Blues
May 3rd, 2001 Perhaps my hatred for her comes out of fear. Fear that she could take away my greatest asset, or maybe that fear I have never spoken of, the one where I often catch a glimpse of my own weakness in her smile. I wish right now that I could get up and… Continue reading TBT “away from love”
While no danger is in sight I had to, a new boundary. The past beckons to me and I cry and suffocate those memories, not now, I just can't. Giving the love to Jesus and letting him take the wheel is seemingly working, well sometimes. My heart longs but my soul knows the end has… Continue reading Cease and Desist