Once… I met a boy off Myspace. Kyle, he was very Seattle, snow sport and outdoors fanatic, sarcastic, loved flannels…hilarious, smart and after coming out of a very bad relationship he looked like gold. For a year…circa 2009 he was a Mr. Big for me. Completely emotionally unavailable, sexy, smart…all the things that draw you to a Seattlite. I saw him on the bus the other day circa 2015 (p.s. is anyone other than me excited that this was the year in Back to the Future??? Ha) he was very into his podcast, smiling away and laughing like a silly school boy. He did not notice me at all but I am ok with that, glasses day = not the best day (for me at least) to see an “ex”.
So many thoughts swirled while I watched him. He contacted me a few months ago because he saw me at a Sounders game, I looked good he said and I happen to be with another dude..typical “she is attracting dudes = I want in…again”. Blech! After chatting on Myspace, back in the day, for a few weeks we finally agreed to meet. Apparently I did not look like my picture because (bad relationship = weight gain) although our eyes met across the room he ignored me and did not approach me, even after a few texts, I was devastated. After I stifled contact he got the picture…after months he emailed and was pretty serious about meeting so we did. At that point I had lost all my sad weight I guess because we ended up dating for awhile. After a few weeks I realized that he was still the same emotionally unavailable guy and fast forward years later when I saw the email from him after he saw me I felt no remorse on deleting that email, a girl shouldn’t bother with a boy who is so focused on the exterior. In such a large city it’s always amazing to me when I run into someone from my past, small world style I guess. That being said I remember the face he made when we kissed for the first time, he said that I kissed ‘so pure and yet so passionate, that is a rare quality’, a comment I remember..years later. Sadly a kiss is sometimes just a kiss.
March 17th 2009
#26 Kyle, I really cannot say much except to say that it was a mistake and after years of obsessing about him I do not think that it was the wisest decision.
-B
