My brother is 10 years older than me, and he’s been a rock for me at times, well he’s tried as I seem to believe I am my own rock but he has tried nonetheless. He’s quiet, contemplative, and seemingly rather sad; he’s definitely the silent type, much like my Mother – a ‘silent sufferer’ as my Dad likes to say. He’s very self-sufficient, successful, and highly intelligent, but has so many chips on his shoulders I don’t know how he wears a shirt.
Before the devil my main relationship comparison was Scott; a simple midwest boy – or so I thought but this isn’t about him, it’s about a belief and a vision that he had. He said that ever since he was a boy he would pray and sometimes would see 3 Hawk’s soaring in the sky, he said he always took it as a sign. One time we were driving, I don’t even remember where but I was sleeping as he drove and he prayed, he said after praying he saw 3 Hawks soaring as we drove. The way he told it is that he saw this, at this time, and became emotional and I woke suddenly in the passenger seat although I awoke abruptly I looked over calmly at him and smiled – he said he would never forget that moment, I wish I could recall the feeling and I still wonder what he prayed about, Hawk’s do tend to fly alone though “And so castles made of sand fall in the sea, eventually” – Jimmy Hendrix
I’ve gone through so many photos, and you rarely look happy; it plagues me and I deeply hope you’ve found some kind of happiness, I really do. We are very different, so far apart but I hope you see past events, times, and moments that depict how I’ve felt about you as a brother, you were more like a Dad. I hated to disappoint you but I always seemed to, I hope you appreciate that I tried. Your contrast helps me to feel validated somehow like we are the yin and the yang, interconnected in our sadness but also our tenacity.
-B
