Both are under scrutiny. The stench of lies and ego fog any love cloud from forming in such conditions.
Starring at countless ceilings, so many blind spots both spiritually, sexually, and emotionally. There was no surrendering, not anymore. I feel crazy thinking of your words and you so freely throw punches as if you think I can handle the abuse and it is abuse, a mental torture of sorts that rips my soul into pieces that can never be recovered. An unfair Horcrux but we are not immortal my devil, you may be but our love died a slow painful death, she’s laying bloodless and slaughtered upon a loaded fence.
As I navigate my own predetermined laws of engagement I wonder what my body’s memory is holding onto, if my nervous system is somehow attracted to men like him and how do I heal that little girl? He continues to stalk and I start to pack, I so desperately want to heal, change, and laugh like I once did but my heart sinks and I drown in the memories of us.
-B
