"And his tears fall and burn on the garden greenAnd so castles made of sand fall in the seaeventually" -The Jimi Hendrix Experience Out of the woodwork, they contact me, telling me they too were fooled by the devil. None of them have the years and scars that I do but I still listen. All… Continue reading Castles Made of Sand
Category: abuse
Here Kitty Kitty
Have I told you about the kitties in my dreams? They appear almost as much as he does. A therapist once told me these creatures represent me and that has both made sense and not over the years. In most cases I am taking care of them, stressed about them...there are almost always two, sometimes… Continue reading Here Kitty Kitty
Let Greek Ghosts Go
On the Greek side Mom always told me there was nothing there at the graveyard, nothing worth finding anyway. When I found them and put the rose bush with the branches I had found, seemingly especially for them and myself - the exact number of tiny roses as her siblings, except one was bloomed and… Continue reading Let Greek Ghosts Go
The Little Girls
This concept and or idea of there being many parts to us, that we have past versions of ourselves running around inside our hearts, mind, and souls; for me the little girls of my past, little Becky's that were not honored or seen. The idea of playing as an adult is a bit foreign to… Continue reading The Little Girls
he was my rain
"I always wanted to love Eve as Denny loved her, but I never had because I was afraid. She was my rain. She was my unpredictable element. She was my fear. But a racer should not be afraid of rain; a racer should embrace the rain. I alone could manifest a change in that which… Continue reading he was my rain
The Heart Break Special
Both are under scrutiny. The stench of lies and ego fog any love cloud from forming in such conditions. Starring at countless ceilings, so many blind spots both spiritually, sexually, and emotionally. There was no surrendering, not anymore. I feel crazy thinking of your words and you so freely throw punches as if you think… Continue reading The Heart Break Special
Birthday Blues
1/1/2016... In the light of day the room seemed completely different but the stench of that fight lingered. It's been almost six months with Kyle; So like and yet so unalike each other, by far the most transparent relationship I've ever had. Here in Panama the winds wail and I cry for the past and… Continue reading Birthday Blues
I Am a Rock
When I was a youngin my mother would say this, or at least that is the way I remember it....that and the main verse playing in my head: "I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no painAnd an island never cries" - Simon & Garfunkel As an adult trying like… Continue reading I Am a Rock
rêves les plus fous
As sleep, naps and rest elude me I search for ways to rest myself, ways to release the demons, memories of us, memories of her, worries, sorrows, they all create a wall of sorts for me on a daily basis, if I can get through the wall I can be at peace but they join… Continue reading rêves les plus fous
Cease and Desist
While no danger is in sight I had to, a new boundary. The past beckons to me and I cry and suffocate those memories, not now, I just can't. Giving the love to Jesus and letting him take the wheel is seemingly working, well sometimes. My heart longs but my soul knows the end has… Continue reading Cease and Desist