Blogger, childhood trauma, faith, family, loss, love, moving on, pnw, trauma

Go Ask Alice

Not that Alice, but if you could ask Alice anything what would you ask? This Alice though, she's the one I can't get over: "I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones" - Alice Kingsley When I reflect on my mild obsession with the Alice movies I can remember being very young, sick with something… Continue reading Go Ask Alice

childhood trauma, dreams, loss, love, trauma

In Dreams: The Eye Of The Storm

In yet another installment of crazy dreams and demonic behavior, I give you the latest in screwed-up nightmares. The eye of the storm is, not actually the most tumultuous part of a storm, the eye is a region of mostly calm weather at the center of a tropical cyclone, and the eyewall is actually the… Continue reading In Dreams: The Eye Of The Storm

alcohol, Blogger, cheating, friendships, loss, love, moving on, recovery

Castles Made of Sand

"And his tears fall and burn on the garden greenAnd so castles made of sand fall in the seaeventually" -The Jimi Hendrix Experience Out of the woodwork, they contact me, telling me they too were fooled by the devil. None of them have the years and scars that I do but I still listen. All… Continue reading Castles Made of Sand

abuse, alcohol, Blogger, childhood trauma, dreams, loss, love, romance, trauma

Here Kitty Kitty

Have I told you about the kitties in my dreams? They appear almost as much as he does. A therapist once told me these creatures represent me and that has both made sense and not over the years. In most cases I am taking care of them, stressed about them...there are almost always two, sometimes… Continue reading Here Kitty Kitty

Blogger, cheating, childhood trauma, dating, dreams, loss, love, moving on, romance, trauma

and the reason is…

I don't sleep in our past like I used to, and when I would see you so often your words would become echoes in my dreams, a voice seemingly designed to madden, no longer love but a broken record of torment. Playing the same questions over and over again and a song forming as I… Continue reading and the reason is…

abuse, Blogger, cheating, dating, faith, love, moving on, recovery, romance, trauma

he was my rain

"I always wanted to love Eve as Denny loved her, but I never had because I was afraid. She was my rain. She was my unpredictable element. She was my fear. But a racer should not be afraid of rain; a racer should embrace the rain. I alone could manifest a change in that which… Continue reading he was my rain

abuse, Blogger, childhood trauma, dating, loss, love, moving on, romance, trauma, Uncategorized

The Heart Break Special

Both are under scrutiny. The stench of lies and ego fog any love cloud from forming in such conditions. Starring at countless ceilings, so many blind spots both spiritually, sexually, and emotionally. There was no surrendering, not anymore. I feel crazy thinking of your words and you so freely throw punches as if you think… Continue reading The Heart Break Special