Blogger, cheating, dating, Historical Prose, love, romance

The Ex-Factor

This a vintage post...February 7th, 2008 Dating is hard enough without bringing the past into a new relationship. In my last serious relationship (and please keep in mind I too ask myself ‘What the hell were you thinking’ as I am sure some of you may after reading this) there were late-night visits from women,… Continue reading The Ex-Factor

abuse, Blogger, childhood trauma, dating, loss, love, moving on, romance, trauma, Uncategorized

The Heart Break Special

Both are under scrutiny. The stench of lies and ego fog any love cloud from forming in such conditions. Starring at countless ceilings, so many blind spots both spiritually, sexually, and emotionally. There was no surrendering, not anymore. I feel crazy thinking of your words and you so freely throw punches as if you think… Continue reading The Heart Break Special

abuse, Blogger, cheating, childhood trauma, city living, dreams, faith, trauma

I Am a Rock

When I was a youngin my mother would say this, or at least that is the way I remember it....that and the main verse playing in my head: "I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no painAnd an island never cries" - Simon & Garfunkel As an adult trying like… Continue reading I Am a Rock

abuse, cheating, childhood trauma, dating, dissociative amnesia, faith, loss, love, moving on, pnw, romance, trauma

Cease and Desist

While no danger is in sight I had to, a new boundary. The past beckons to me and I cry and suffocate those memories, not now, I just can't. Giving the love to Jesus and letting him take the wheel is seemingly working, well sometimes. My heart longs but my soul knows the end has… Continue reading Cease and Desist

body issues, cheating, dating, dreams, faith, loss, love, moving on, romance, trauma, Uncategorized

Loving You Had Consequences

I loved you differently. Don't want you back you're just the best I ever had. My spirit is bruised but my tenacity could never be shaken by your betrayals. They say you never lose by loving, I know I've lost something but the fact that I do not know what's missing tells me I am… Continue reading Loving You Had Consequences

cheating, dating, loss, love, sex, Uncategorized

burn like never before…

I’ve held something very close for as long as I can remember. Today I let it slip, a secret I did not know that I had, an omission that after I let the words slip past my lips, they seemed trapped inside my little apartment, circling me, bouncing off the walls, and forcing me to… Continue reading burn like never before…

cheating, dating, family, love, moving on, romance, sex

Forever Goodbyes

It’s been over 5 years. 2 affairs, 1 miscarriage, 3 apartments, 1 loss of a mother, and countless fights, sexcapades, and 3 countries visited… Still, we try.. I don’t think am in love anymore, the affairs traumatized me and seemed to have flipped a switch that, try as I may, as we may, to reestablish… Continue reading Forever Goodbyes