Both are under scrutiny. The stench of lies and ego fog any love cloud from forming in such conditions. Starring at countless ceilings, so many blind spots both spiritually, sexually, and emotionally. There was no surrendering, not anymore. I feel crazy thinking of your words and you so freely throw punches as if you think… Continue reading The Heart Break Special
Category: trauma
I Am a Rock
When I was a youngin my mother would say this, or at least that is the way I remember it....that and the main verse playing in my head: "I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no painAnd an island never cries" - Simon & Garfunkel As an adult trying like… Continue reading I Am a Rock
Death & Taxes
During this tax season, I find myself hopeful and excited when I perhaps should not be but my naive heart just sees that I get money back each year so never mind what I have lost. On loss, this Saturday my mother would have been 75 years old, I used to be such a wreck… Continue reading Death & Taxes
Baby Loves to Run
No longer running from or towards him, addressing past runs and what the consequences have been, so much more than dehydration. The dried flowers, my new running routine, and the echoes of sweet words and sweat are all that remain. "Taught her young, the only things she'd need to carry on, he taught her how… Continue reading Baby Loves to Run
Mending Desertion
My sister Robin is 53 and has a genetic disorder, Prader Willi Syndrome. When I was much younger I told very few people about my sister, for no other reason than fear, people fear what they do not understand. When I was 6 years old I was essentially hanging out with another child; she was… Continue reading Mending Desertion
Cease and Desist
While no danger is in sight I had to, a new boundary. The past beckons to me and I cry and suffocate those memories, not now, I just can't. Giving the love to Jesus and letting him take the wheel is seemingly working, well sometimes. My heart longs but my soul knows the end has… Continue reading Cease and Desist
Loving You Had Consequences
I loved you differently. Don't want you back you're just the best I ever had. My spirit is bruised but my tenacity could never be shaken by your betrayals. They say you never lose by loving, I know I've lost something but the fact that I do not know what's missing tells me I am… Continue reading Loving You Had Consequences
Step 1 – Recklessly Abandon
I am a prideful person, not in the traditional way and certainly not in the websters dictionary way. I am prideful in that I will do almost anything to avoid looking like a fool. This is rather is hilarious because most days I am quick to point out my ridiculous ways, somehow drawing attention to… Continue reading Step 1 – Recklessly Abandon
Carrying Innocense Throughout The Abyss?
I have always been a vivid dreamer, so was my Mom. We would trade dreams like most trade stories about vacations. Both anxious, both sensitive to many things, both empaths. You hear a feather floating to the floor and we/I feel an anvil dropping, it is maddening at times. The most frequent dreams of mine… Continue reading Carrying Innocense Throughout The Abyss?