Tag: fear

Blogger, childhood trauma, faith, family, loss, love, moving on, pnw, trauma

Go Ask Alice

B wrote this

Not that Alice, but if you could ask Alice anything what would you ask? This Alice though, she's the one I can't get over: "I happen to love rabbits, especially white ones" - Alice Kingsley When I reflect on my mild obsession with the Alice movies I can remember being very young, sick with something… Continue reading Go Ask Alice

Blogger, cheating, childhood trauma, dating, dreams, loss, love, moving on, romance, trauma

and the reason is…

B wrote this

I don't sleep in our past like I used to, and when I would see you so often your words would become echoes in my dreams, a voice seemingly designed to madden, no longer love but a broken record of torment. Playing the same questions over and over again and a song forming as I… Continue reading and the reason is…

abuse, Blogger, cheating, dating, faith, love, moving on, recovery, romance, trauma

he was my rain

B wrote this

"I always wanted to love Eve as Denny loved her, but I never had because I was afraid. She was my rain. She was my unpredictable element. She was my fear. But a racer should not be afraid of rain; a racer should embrace the rain. I alone could manifest a change in that which… Continue reading he was my rain

abuse, alcohol, Blogger, dating, love, moving on, romance, tbt

Birthday Blues

B wrote this

1/1/2016... In the light of day the room seemed completely different but the stench of that fight lingered. It's been almost six months with Kyle; So like and yet so unalike each other, by far the most transparent relationship I've ever had. Here in Panama the winds wail and I cry for the past and… Continue reading Birthday Blues

abuse, Blogger, cheating, childhood trauma, city living, dreams, faith, trauma

I Am a Rock

B wrote this

When I was a youngin my mother would say this, or at least that is the way I remember it....that and the main verse playing in my head: "I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no painAnd an island never cries" - Simon & Garfunkel As an adult trying like… Continue reading I Am a Rock

cheating, childhood trauma, dating, family, loss, love, trauma

Baby Loves to Run

B wrote this

No longer running from or towards him, addressing past runs and what the consequences have been, so much more than dehydration. The dried flowers, my new running routine, and the echoes of sweet words and sweat are all that remain. "Taught her young, the only things she'd need to carry on, he taught her how… Continue reading Baby Loves to Run

abuse, cheating, childhood trauma, dating, dissociative amnesia, faith, loss, love, moving on, pnw, romance, trauma

Cease and Desist

B wrote this

While no danger is in sight I had to, a new boundary. The past beckons to me and I cry and suffocate those memories, not now, I just can't. Giving the love to Jesus and letting him take the wheel is seemingly working, well sometimes. My heart longs but my soul knows the end has… Continue reading Cease and Desist