"And his tears fall and burn on the garden greenAnd so castles made of sand fall in the seaeventually" -The Jimi Hendrix Experience Out of the woodwork, they contact me, telling me they too were fooled by the devil. None of them have the years and scars that I do but I still listen. All… Continue reading Castles Made of Sand
Category: recovery
he was my rain
"I always wanted to love Eve as Denny loved her, but I never had because I was afraid. She was my rain. She was my unpredictable element. She was my fear. But a racer should not be afraid of rain; a racer should embrace the rain. I alone could manifest a change in that which… Continue reading he was my rain
“It was all a dream” -Notorious BIG
I'm starting to wonder how many things I've been doing that are to purposefully set me back, all because of fear. Tonight while watching an old show, a wedding scene, a complicated relationship and seeing all the beautiful dynamics of a wedding, I sobbed like a baby! If you know me at all, ok well… Continue reading “It was all a dream” -Notorious BIG
Unprocessed Emotions
February 2021 Seeing his pain, watching him grow and learn and navigate through it all, the word inspiring just does not cover it. His trauma paints the walls a beautiful blue and my green eyes look on in awe. He is a true artist, I adore him but I cannot help looking back at the… Continue reading Unprocessed Emotions
An Unnecessary Sip
May 8, 2001 Last night I danced, with bright lights that beautified my body and soul. Boys ate at my looks like candy as I glided in the memory of him. So many emotions mixed within the liquor I consumed a night ago. Each sip I took was an unnecessary sip I took to ease… Continue reading An Unnecessary Sip
O Captain! My Captain!
Always and forever: O captain my captain #RIPRobinWilliams
i loved you differently
I am a rather proud person, a woman of determination, a lady of her own. I have an independence that pushes and pulls people away and in at times, or so it seems. When I sit and count my demons I envision sitting on the edge of the pool that either I created or has… Continue reading i loved you differently
Bound
The future looks bright for those who dream. Courageous flights, where these souls do not look back, they do not look down, they look forward. Not at a future that they want but a future they believe they have set in motion. I myself long for such a flight but I linger.Linger in fear, in… Continue reading Bound
Fear
“Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear, not absence of fear” -Mark Twain I can think of nothing sadder that being governed by fear. By that I mean, each decision you make and or step you do or do not take is out of fear. Being fearful in a relationship is something I have… Continue reading Fear
It’s a drinking shame
It's been awhile. I am not sure whether it's the sure nerve and or raw feeling that comes from writing down ones inner most thoughts and or feelings but I struggle these days. All I think about when I write now is, hope, sometimes relief. Hope that someone will read this silly rant or two… Continue reading It’s a drinking shame