Away into the sunset I painted, number by number. Dreaming of a day that knocks all others off the books. Sitting in another's shoes I see my weakness more than before. Each day I sleep in the sound his embrace used to make and each day I kiss the memory goodbye but I can't seem… Continue reading Paint by Number
Tag: relationships
Birthday Blues
1/1/2016... In the light of day the room seemed completely different but the stench of that fight lingered. It's been almost six months with Kyle; So like and yet so unalike each other, by far the most transparent relationship I've ever had. Here in Panama the winds wail and I cry for the past and… Continue reading Birthday Blues
I Am a Rock
When I was a youngin my mother would say this, or at least that is the way I remember it....that and the main verse playing in my head: "I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no painAnd an island never cries" - Simon & Garfunkel As an adult trying like… Continue reading I Am a Rock
Death & Taxes
During this tax season, I find myself hopeful and excited when I perhaps should not be but my naive heart just sees that I get money back each year so never mind what I have lost. On loss, this Saturday my mother would have been 75 years old, I used to be such a wreck… Continue reading Death & Taxes
Baby Loves to Run
No longer running from or towards him, addressing past runs and what the consequences have been, so much more than dehydration. The dried flowers, my new running routine, and the echoes of sweet words and sweat are all that remain. "Taught her young, the only things she'd need to carry on, he taught her how… Continue reading Baby Loves to Run
TBT “away from love”
May 3rd, 2001 Perhaps my hatred for her comes out of fear. Fear that she could take away my greatest asset, or maybe that fear I have never spoken of, the one where I often catch a glimpse of my own weakness in her smile. I wish right now that I could get up and… Continue reading TBT “away from love”
Cease and Desist
While no danger is in sight I had to, a new boundary. The past beckons to me and I cry and suffocate those memories, not now, I just can't. Giving the love to Jesus and letting him take the wheel is seemingly working, well sometimes. My heart longs but my soul knows the end has… Continue reading Cease and Desist
Loving You Had Consequences
I loved you differently. Don't want you back you're just the best I ever had. My spirit is bruised but my tenacity could never be shaken by your betrayals. They say you never lose by loving, I know I've lost something but the fact that I do not know what's missing tells me I am… Continue reading Loving You Had Consequences
M.A.D.
It’s so hard to be sweet, to be quiet, to be vulnerable and demur. So much of me wants to fight; I don’t want to stay ‘stand up’ because I am not abused, generally unheard, I really do not go without (unless you consider the days I am on my 'diet' and I do not… Continue reading M.A.D.
The Art of Running Backwards
In relationships there is often give and take. Compromise should be a piece of the foundation of any relationship if you want it to thrive and survive. Each partner should allow each person to meet his or her needs together with the other. Don't compromise yourself, you are all that you have. A real man… Continue reading The Art of Running Backwards