So many scribbles, notes, and pieces of me laying around waiting to be put down here. My fingers stay shriveled from all the showers - "I'm not going to tell the story the way it happened, I am going to tell it the way I remember it". Scribbles, remember those? A few minutes of focus,… Continue reading great expectations
Category: loss
The Heart Break Special
Both are under scrutiny. The stench of lies and ego fog any love cloud from forming in such conditions. Starring at countless ceilings, so many blind spots both spiritually, sexually, and emotionally. There was no surrendering, not anymore. I feel crazy thinking of your words and you so freely throw punches as if you think… Continue reading The Heart Break Special
old quotes and looking beyond
I found this journal of my mom's, she kept her own quote book of sorts, I had no idea and sadly and or ironically I have had one that I have filled since I was in my teens. Friends wrote in it, acquaintances, strangers and of course family. I use my quote book so often… Continue reading old quotes and looking beyond
How To Break Up With Your Hair Dresser
I don't want to be sexist but I think this statement is true: Most women can relate and or understand the fact that our relationship with our hair dresser is a complex one. Plainly put, there are things we tell the person cutting/coloring our locks that we would not share with anyone, perhaps not always… Continue reading How To Break Up With Your Hair Dresser
rêves les plus fous
As sleep, naps and rest elude me I search for ways to rest myself, ways to release the demons, memories of us, memories of her, worries, sorrows, they all create a wall of sorts for me on a daily basis, if I can get through the wall I can be at peace but they join… Continue reading rêves les plus fous
Baby Loves to Run
No longer running from or towards him, addressing past runs and what the consequences have been, so much more than dehydration. The dried flowers, my new running routine, and the echoes of sweet words and sweat are all that remain. "Taught her young, the only things she'd need to carry on, he taught her how… Continue reading Baby Loves to Run
TBT “away from love”
May 3rd, 2001 Perhaps my hatred for her comes out of fear. Fear that she could take away my greatest asset, or maybe that fear I have never spoken of, the one where I often catch a glimpse of my own weakness in her smile. I wish right now that I could get up and… Continue reading TBT “away from love”
Cease and Desist
While no danger is in sight I had to, a new boundary. The past beckons to me and I cry and suffocate those memories, not now, I just can't. Giving the love to Jesus and letting him take the wheel is seemingly working, well sometimes. My heart longs but my soul knows the end has… Continue reading Cease and Desist
Loving You Had Consequences
I loved you differently. Don't want you back you're just the best I ever had. My spirit is bruised but my tenacity could never be shaken by your betrayals. They say you never lose by loving, I know I've lost something but the fact that I do not know what's missing tells me I am… Continue reading Loving You Had Consequences
Carrying Innocense Throughout The Abyss?
I have always been a vivid dreamer, so was my Mom. We would trade dreams like most trade stories about vacations. Both anxious, both sensitive to many things, both empaths. You hear a feather floating to the floor and we/I feel an anvil dropping, it is maddening at times. The most frequent dreams of mine… Continue reading Carrying Innocense Throughout The Abyss?