While no danger is in sight I had to, a new boundary. The past beckons to me and I cry and suffocate those memories, not now, I just can't. Giving the love to Jesus and letting him take the wheel is seemingly working, well sometimes. My heart longs but my soul knows the end has… Continue reading Cease and Desist
Category: love
Loving You Had Consequences
I loved you differently. Don't want you back you're just the best I ever had. My spirit is bruised but my tenacity could never be shaken by your betrayals. They say you never lose by loving, I know I've lost something but the fact that I do not know what's missing tells me I am… Continue reading Loving You Had Consequences
Stocking Up on Compassion
In one of the too many piles of scribbles, scratches, and musings, and 'don't forget how this made you feel' piles, I found this note I had written. These days compassion is not something that I hold in high regard, if I am being honest I feel taken advantage of by people who are in… Continue reading Stocking Up on Compassion
burn like never before…
I’ve held something very close for as long as I can remember. Today I let it slip, a secret I did not know that I had, an omission that after I let the words slip past my lips, they seemed trapped inside my little apartment, circling me, bouncing off the walls, and forcing me to… Continue reading burn like never before…
Forever Goodbyes
It’s been over 5 years. 2 affairs, 1 miscarriage, 3 apartments, 1 loss of a mother, and countless fights, sexcapades, and 3 countries visited… Still, we try.. I don’t think am in love anymore, the affairs traumatized me and seemed to have flipped a switch that, try as I may, as we may, to reestablish… Continue reading Forever Goodbyes
Bridging Gaps….or not..
As a child, I hiked, camped, and crossed all the old rickety, wooden, and solid bridges of Washington State Parks, it terrified me to cross them, no matter the condition but I never spoke up. I'd say I am not sure why but I know why. I did not want to disappoint or affect the… Continue reading Bridging Gaps….or not..
All the promises we made..
11/27 - Circa 2005 Weathering diversity, as I always have. Breaking down...no letting go and deciding to let him be mad and just do it for her. Another holiday alone, though I will never forget last years New Years, going to bed before midnight and feeling so low suicidal thoughts creeped. When does my epic… Continue reading All the promises we made..
Adaptation 🎶
I got my eyes on you, you're everything that I seeI want your hot love and emotion, endlesslyI got my eyes on you, you're everything that I seeI can't get over you, you left your mark on me Cause you're good girl and you know it, good girl and you know itYou act so different… Continue reading Adaptation 🎶
“It was all a dream” -Notorious BIG
I'm starting to wonder how many things I've been doing that are to purposefully set me back, all because of fear. Tonight while watching an old show, a wedding scene, a complicated relationship and seeing all the beautiful dynamics of a wedding, I sobbed like a baby! If you know me at all, ok well… Continue reading “It was all a dream” -Notorious BIG
Back in Time..
11.28.2000 While you decide what feelings fit I am lonely. I cry out to you, truly trying to speak in tongues. But all you get is my lips. My destination has altered, I now know your not where I should be going. I keep striving for strength, trying to hold back, but with you I… Continue reading Back in Time..